First few weeks using oxygen and inhalers

I keep getting asked that question, and I don’t really know the answer.  I think okay???  Not sure???  I am still a little bit over my head in all of this and trying to take it all in and understand what is happening.  It is such an out of body experience and it is all occuring so quickly that I am barely able to figure out how I am doing…So, how am I doing?  Okay.

The oxygen is really helping.  And I think the inhalers are too.  I went to Hobby Lobby yesterday and walked around for quite a while…and did fine.  I went to Walmart the other day and spent about 2 hours in the store, and I felt pretty good.  I also went home and unpacked everything and mopped the floor and cleaned up.  Most times, I would rather just sit in a chair and do nothing.  But, I feel so much better about myself if I do things to help around the house.  I may feel fatigued afterwards, and very short of breath…but I can’t help the feeling I get when I get something accomplished.

Being the big mouth that I am, I have always been chatty and talkative with everyone at just about every public place that I go to.  The nice lady at Walgreens that I always see when I go in saw me for the first time today on oxygen.  “WHY ARE YOU ON OXYGEN???”  And of course it is never a short answer.  And then she looked down and saw Jayden.  “And he is yours??”  I nodded my head and told her about Josiah also, and I could see the tears welling up in this poor lady’s eyes.  She gave me a hug and told me that she will be praying for me because my babies need me.  That gets me crying almost every time.

I think about my kids every day.  I know this sounds bad, but I know that Jay would be okay without me.  He would be sad of course, but he would be okay.  I just dread the day that I am in the hospital bed looking down at my two little ones and trying to explain to them what is happening.  Even if it is just for the lung transplant.  Especially Jayden…he is such a little mommy’s boy.

He wouldn’t even let me go to Walgreens without him tonight.  “But MOMMY!!  I will miss you!!”  So, of course he had to go with me.

I just dread that moment- or any moment when I have to be apart from my boys because of LAM.  I really just keep thinking that God has plans for my life.  I cannot imagine that He will take me from my boys without a good reason.  I guess I will just do whatever I can to try to BELIEVE that He is going to take care of me and protect my family.  I have to have faith in that.  That is really all that I have in this world.  I pray for faith every day.  I know that I need that.

Anyhow, that is it for today everyone…I am doing fine.  I am excited because Jayden’s 4th birthday is in a few weeks!!

Thanks to everyone that reads my blogs.  I hope to be able to write with some good news soon.  My next appointment in Cincinatti is in a few weeks, so we shall see how that works out.

XOXOXOXO  Thank you Lord for my friends and family who keep me strong and keep me going on to the next day.