Well, I have been off of the drug for over a month now. WOOOOOOOOOOW, am I feeling it! It is very difficult for me right now. I am feeling short of breath all the time, and breathing is something that I think about ALL day long…EVERY day. Even moreso than before, and I didn’t think that was even possible!! Isn’t it funny how when I used to be perfectly healthy, I did not think about breathing at all? Now, it is all that I think about. Funny how I took things so for granted.
Well, I will be getting listed for transplant on March 4th. I am very much looking forward to that. It is getting to the point where I am just not even thinking about how scared I was a few weeks ago. Now, I am only looking forward. And I just want to live and breathe again. It is all in God’s hands, and I am believing that I will be fine. My body will respond favorably to my new lungs, and I will be whole again. And I will appreciate the extension that the lungs will provide me in my life. It will be my second chance to do all of the things that I haven’t been able to do for years. I can’t wait.
Thank you GOD for allowing me to see life through this set of eyes, though!! This has truly been an experience having to feel the things that I have had to feel. I have felt so many things and experienced so many terrifying things. I have experienced terrifying days…and hopeful days…and painful days. All kinds of things that I would never have felt if I was perfectly healthy.
If you are able to pray for me, these are the things that I am praying for: I am praying for my donor’s family now. Someone has to die to provide these lungs for me, and that is difficult to swallow sometimes. But, I pray for that family now. I pray that the lungs come soon so I don’t get sicker. And I pray for my husband to be strong for me during surgery, and continue to be an amazing father to the boys even though we will be absent from their lives during recovery for a period of time. I pray for my kids to handle being without me for so long, and that they know the whole time that I love them. I pray for divine knowledge for the doctors to be able to help me and choose a very good and suitable set of lungs for me. I pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit to give me faith and renewed energy during this time. And I pray most of all that God’s will be done in my life! I want so much less of me and so much more of God. So, I just ask for prayer that I relent to whatever His plan is, and that I stop trying to do so much in my own strength!
Okay, that’s it for now. Thanks so much again for all of the support. You all mean so much to me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.
Blessings.
Melanie Putnam 
Melaine, my prayers are with you. Your attitude and faith in God has and will provide you the strength and peace of mind in a way that only God can give to you. I understand your feelings about your donor and his or her family. Someone having to die in order for me to live is very hard for me too.
God Bless You and your family.
Melanie, your last post reminded me of my favorite poem:
Not self Oh Lord, but only Thee,
I would that others see in me.
The beauty of your love to shine,
Your will in evidence not mine.
With self submerged from others view,
May they in me see only You.
Love ya, Sally
Melanie, you don’t know me, but I definitely know what you are going thru. Approximately 3 years ago, my sister was diagnosed with a very rare lung disease called Venal Occlusive Disease. There were at the time of her diagnosis, only 2 people in Illinois with this disease — and 2 forms of treatment. Medication, which did not work for here or a double lung transplant. About 2 weeks before Christmas 2008, we were blessed with the news that she would be receiving a double lung transplant. Today she is doing well — will still have some setbacks and many meds needed to be taken for the rest of her life, but our prayers were answered. Please keep the faith and remember, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN. God bless you!