Airlifted to Iowa City…My new home.

This is a well overdue post…The past week has been a whirlwind, that is for sure!!

A week ago, I was home when I started having what I thought was an anxiety attack.  I have been having them for so long, and I could feel one coming on!  So, I held on for dear life, and sat and prayed that it would go away.  Well, this one did not go away.  I started having severe respiratory distress and went into a hypoxic seizure.   My body started turning blue and Jayden went to the neighbor to get emergency assistance.  I remember feeling dizzy and falling to the ground and not being able to control my body or thoughts, and then everything went blank.  I have no recollection of anything until days later.

I was told that I continued to have at least 2 more seizures in the ambulance.  Jay met the ambulance at Trinity Hospital in Rock Island.  I was immediately put on a ventilator and they paralyzed me.  They got a hold of Iowa City and then airlifted me immediately to be there with the lung transplant team.

Thursday until Sunday morning, I was on the ventilator.  They had discovered that my left lung had completely collapsed.  This is what started the whole process and why I was on the vent.  A ventilator is a dangerous thing because it actually intubates you and breathes for you.  And if a person stays intubated for long, a lot of times your body will not remember how to breathe on your own and you will become reliant on the ventilator.  Of course this is just not a feasible way of living.  They tried several times during those days to get me breathing on my own and remove me from the vent, and I was not able to do it.  Saturday, my body finally responded to a bipap machine and then a mask on Sunday which is basically where the body cooperates with a machine, and your body only does 50% of the breathing.  So, that was a good step.

Sunday morning is when they realized that my other lung had collapsed as well.  They put chest tubes on both sides, and as soon as they did, I started responding well right away.  After all of those days of me not responding to any of the machines or life support systems, that was a very good day.  I remember opening my eyes on Sunday and seeing my amazing pulmolologist walking down the hallway and saying that it was the best Mothers Day present she has ever gotten because she was so worried that I could not pull through that one.  No one thought I would survive.

Actually, just writing this blog was the first time I really asked my husband the details of the beginning.  I didn’t know I was so serious or how dire my situation actually was!  Until right now.  The medical team and my family and friends who have been so amazing with me all this time were so excited to see me and for me to open my eyes.

The days following Sunday have been so difficult too.  I had 2 more lung collapses!!  One of which involved a 3 hour panic attack where I sat here in the room and shook and convulsed again while my lung collapsed.  And I had a huge pocket of air that popped in my chest and caused it’s own problems.  The way in which God was watching out for me yet again?  When I had this crazy convulsion thing, my pulmonologist and surgeon just happened to be in here to speak to me about doing another chest tube to fix the other one that wasn’t big enough.   So, they grabbed the whole team right there on the spot and opened me up on the table right here in my room and took care of me.   This followed a night of HORRIBLE, excruciating pain.  Since my lungs have collapsed on both sides, I have chest tubes coming out of both sides trailing down into these lung suction machines.  I have to take them everywhere.  And they hurt horribly.  But they are doing the trick!  This was yesterday.

Today has been a rather uneventful day, thankfully!  I couldn’t handle any more days like the nights before, that is for sure!  I was going on no sleep.  So, today Jay and I got to nap for quite some time and rest.  This was great, let me tell you.  My oxygen requirements are HUGE right now.  Too huge to go home.  So, I have to live here at the hospital until I receive my double lung transplant.  I still have high blood pressure, and can’t take my medications b/c of the interactions with the pain medicines which I need to function.  And my entire body and face are completely swollen up with little air pockets all over that feels like rice krispie treats when you touch it.  So, I have a lot of air misplacement and stuff out of places.  One day at a time!!

I miss the boys so terribly much, I cannot even say how much.  I talked to them on the phone tonight, and Jayden asked me “Mommy, how many sleeps until you get better and can come home??”  I broke down just bawling at that.  I want nothing more than to go home and be a mommy to them.  But, unfortunately, I won’t be able to go home for a long time.  I am in very critical condition and in need of a miracle.  (And EXPECTING, a miracle, by the way)  I just want to be a normal mom and go to baseball games.  I want to take the kids places and be able to walk places.  I want to go to stores and buy things.  I want to be able to take the kids out to eat and go on a vacation.  I just want to be a normal mom.  All of the things that I took for granted before.  This is excruciatingly painful for me to be here and not be with my boys.

So, please keep praying for me!  I have had over 1000 Facebook messages and emails in the past week, and am so incredibly grateful that so many people are praying for me and thinking about me in this time.  With so many praying, I just KNOW that a miracle is on the way.

I am being so well taken care of by our friends and family.  Jay’s brothers traveled down, and I had so many people come up and pray with and for me last week when things were dire.  Too many to name.  But, just know that I will never forget all of this support.  The nursing staff has been overwhelmed with the level of support, even though I don’t remember most of it.  🙂

God bless you all.