9 months after!

So, I have been pretty busy living lately.  🙂  So many blessings just keep flowing in my life.  In a week, I will be NINE MONTHS POST TRANSPLANT!  This feels so good to say.  Minimal issues, doing a lot of activities, and enjoying so many of God’s blessings in my life.

Every day STILL feels like a miracle.  I don’t really know how that can be, but it certainly is true!  Every time I get to go to the grocery store, or to pick up Jayden from school, or to go to a restaurant, I am still reminded every time of what a blessing it is!  I am not worried about lugging around my oxygen or about running out of oxygen or anything of the sort!  I just get up and go…no strings attached!  It is so amazing.

I haven’t even written about Christmas yet, but I will tell you that it was the best Christmas I have ever had!  We got to enjoy the boys so much this year.  We did many fun things, and made so many memories.  I just can’t even explain how fun things were!  We took the kids up to Chicago with Uncle Jamie and Auntie Dawn and went on the Polar Express Train.  We shopped together, saw Santa (which we hadn’t done in years), and baked and painted, etc.  So many awesome things.  I wrapped tons of gifts, decorated the house, and just enjoyed every moment of the holidays.  It was beyond what words could say.  I loved every minute of it.

After Christmas, we have just been slowly getting back into the swing of normal life.  Lots of fun things.  We went to a Dinosaur Exhibit, have taken the kids to movies and out for birthday parties with our friends, and just NORMAL things.  Outside of wearing my mask, I am completely normal and our family is completely normal.  I haven’t been normal in so long that normal feels weird.  But, I will take that weird!!  🙂

Health-wise, I am doing great!  Some medication changes have happened, and some adjustments.  This is a normal part of being post-transplant.  Some days, I feel better than others.  But, I have managed to feel healthy for the most part and have avoided lots of the crazy illnesses that have been floating around.  Thank you Jesus for that!!!  What many people don’t understand is that I am so immuno-suppressed that getting sick would be bad for a woman who doesn’t have the capability to fight it off.  So, I wear a mask and avoid situations that would put me in any danger of getting sick.  As hard as that may be sometimes.

I do find lately that b/c I am feeling so good and so normal, I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Kind of like I am waiting for the day that something bad happens.  Medically, the odds are stacked against me.  I know that, and sometimes I let those thoughts creep in.  I quickly rebuke those thoughts, but nonetheless they are still there.  The farther out from my transplant I get, the higher my chances of rejection and other issues get.  I would say that 90% of the time, I put those thoughts WAY behind me and don’t even think about it.  But, 10% of the time, I do find myself wondering the “what if’s”.  I need to stop that, and I know it.  I think it is only natural and I need to not feel guilty about it.  The great news is that I haven’t had any panic attacks or anything like that.  Those used to be such a part of my life, and I have done a good job of steering clear of those scary mental places.  )

Other than that, the family is doing wonderfully.  Jay is thoroughly enjoying his job.  Still one of the biggest blessings in our lives.  Jay has a job that he truly enjoys and likes going to every day.  His job allows him plenty of time at home with his family and the ability to provide for his family so that we can live a good life and I can be home with the kiddos taking care of myself.  Jayden is doing a fantastic job in kindergarten!  I admit that I still cry when he gets out of my truck in the morning at school.  It is really hard to see him leave me.  And he is 3/4’s of the way done with the school year!!  🙂  I can’t help it.  I am just so proud of the boy he is.  He is so intelligent, and his cognitive abilities are huge for his age.  He still asks questions about my health, etc.  And he always tells me that when I die, I will go be with Jesus, so I should not be scared.  This is a relief to me b/c I am not scared to die.  I have always just been scared of how the boys will handle it.  And when he says things like that, I feel so good.  I am so proud of him.  Josiah is home with me every day, and he loves it.  We do lots of things together, and he is growing up so much as well.  He brings such joy in my life.  He is my miracle baby, and continues to be a miracle in our lives.

We have spent so much time as a family just enjoying time together.  We are making so many memories and enjoying each day as if it is our last.  I have no regrets, and every morning when I wake up, I get to make more memories and enjoy more time with my family.  Every day is a bonus.  That is the best way that I can look at it.  I am so happy to have every opportunity that comes up.  🙂  I never forget where I came from.